Tired

I sometimes wish that I would reach a point where I am satisfied with myself and my efforts. I have worked out for over 30 hours for each of the last two weeks and am on track to hit that goal again this week...and I still manage to feel lazy. That is too much and I know it but I feel like I could be doing more. I feel like I should be challenging myself to do a new, higher goal. I realize that this is ridiculous and that I should probably be doing less exercise since it is all I think about. Every morning I think about skipping the gym and taking some time to rest and then I think about how I will feel if I actually do that. I know that I will be very angry with myself and wish that I had at least given it a try...so I go and end up doing even more that I had originally planned. So then I am happy for an hour or so because I am good and tired and my brain can slow down for a little while...and it starts over the next day. I start to think that if I could do more than I thought yesterday maybe I should be doing more every day. Maybe I am always underestimating what I can do and should be setting more ambitious goals. And then the tiny part of my brain that is still rational about all this tells me to stop...this is insane...and I tell it to shut up and I go to the gym anyway.