Tired

I sometimes wish that I would reach a point where I am satisfied with myself and my efforts. I have worked out for over 30 hours for each of the last two weeks and am on track to hit that goal again this week...and I still manage to feel lazy. That is too much and I know it but I feel like I could be doing more. I feel like I should be challenging myself to do a new, higher goal. I realize that this is ridiculous and that I should probably be doing less exercise since it is all I think about. Every morning I think about skipping the gym and taking some time to rest and then I think about how I will feel if I actually do that. I know that I will be very angry with myself and wish that I had at least given it a try...so I go and end up doing even more that I had originally planned. So then I am happy for an hour or so because I am good and tired and my brain can slow down for a little while...and it starts over the next day. I start to think that if I could do more than I thought yesterday maybe I should be doing more every day. Maybe I am always underestimating what I can do and should be setting more ambitious goals. And then the tiny part of my brain that is still rational about all this tells me to stop...this is insane...and I tell it to shut up and I go to the gym anyway.

The last couple of weeks haven't been great. First I was sick and only did about ten hours then last week work kept getting in the way and I only did close to 27 hours. This week has had an ok start...I hate rest days but there's not much I can do about it when mom and dad are in town and the gym is closed. I was going to go for a quick run before anyone woke up...but Mom of course was up super early and I would have felt bad leaving her alone at my house with nothing to do. She needs to not comment on my weight. She always says that I look good...I've put on a little weight. I know that she thinks this is a compliment since I have always been very thin and people always tell me I need to gain weight. But that doesn't mean that I want to hear that I've gotten heavier, nevermind the fact that I have been at this same weight for a good six months. I'm not the most confident person ever so that just makes me feel like crap and like I need to be working a lot harder than I already am. Today is a new day and I had a good workout and am starting to feel much better. I know that her intentions are good and I just need to stop letting those kinds of things bother me.

Tired but happy

Finally a good week of workouts. So far I am at 27 hours and 30 minutes for the last five days. My goal was six days and 26 hours this week so I still have to workout today to hit both parts of my goal. I still haven't decided how long today's workout will be though. I should probably take it easy and not go over 30 hours but that's always really hard for me. Somehow I managed to feel lazy and like I should have done more yesterday despite the fact that I have worked out for 5 or 6 hours every day for the past five days...crazy.

So close...

So yesterday's workout pretty much sucked...I was very tired and my knee was really bothering me again. I don't know if it is an actual injury or just overuse and tendonitis as usual. I'm not really sure I want to find out...I don't want to have to cut back on workouts at all. I'm so close to reaching the workout goal for the week but I really don't think I will meet it this week. The goal was 6 days and 26 hours and I am at 5 days and 24 hours and 45 minutes so only 1.25 hours short...not bad but definitely could be better. I think I might take today to rest and get back to it tomorrow with hopefully at least 6 hours. That should be a good start to the week. The goal for next week will be 6 days and 26 hours again.

Sleepy

I woke up this morning feeling super tired and just wanting to go back to sleep but I knew I would be really pissed at myself if I took another day off this week. This week's goal is 6 days and 26 hours and I WILL get to at least that. So I sucked it up and went to the gym anyway and had a pretty good workout...4 hours 35 minutes on the elliptical and 1 hour 5 minutes on the stationary bike. I was pretty tired the last half of the bike but made it through. Then I find out that the Y near here opens at 5 am on Saturdays...so excited!

:)

Had a good workout today. Only four and a half hours so not as long as I had planned but that's ok...have to spend at least some time with the husband. It was great because I was reminded that it is very convenient to workout at the same place I work and didn't feel in a hurry to get things done. The only problem was...of course...someone had to interrupt to tell me someone didn't show up for their shift yet. But, the new Y is super nice and I can definitely go there on my days off so overall a very good day.

Yuck

I decided not to work out today and take a rest. I probably could have gone this morning as planned but I'm pretty tired after eight days of at least two hour workouts. Plus my neck and shoulders hurt so it would not have been a great workout anyway. I still have plenty of time this week to hit 26 hours.